Jun 13, 2019

Connection Disconnection


Human connection. We crave it.

As Brene Brown says, we are hardwired for connection. We need it to thrive. We need it to be well.

I started writing about human connection this week and then coincidentally (or maybe not) in my morning reading today I opened the book where I left off and it was titled ‘Connection’. Here is what I underlined:

“Even though we may not always know how to express our yearning for connection, nonetheless, we long for it--with other humans and with the Mystery  we call God, or the Universe, or the Source. We long for this connection because we feel incomplete without the meaning it provides in our lives. This driving need shapes our lives, in ways large--such as marriage--and small--such as a lunch date between friends. Although we may, at times, feel disconnected, we can rest in the certainty that all beings, all things, are interconnected.”--Living Your Yoga, Judith Lasater Hanson

As I reflect on this I know that I am longing for connection. Deep, authentic connection. It seems that we are living in a time when there are so many ways to connect and yet research is showing us that we are suffering from a ‘connection disconnection’ in this increasingly digitally remote world.

I long for the days when I could just pick up the phone and call a friend. Now I'm not sure if I will be interrupting someone if I call or stop by (remember the days when we could just drop in?). 

I'm lonely. I miss my family. I miss my best friends. Some even live right down the street! 

Research is now showing that loneliness may be the next biggest public health crisis since substance abuse. “In the fast paced, consumer driven, social media shared world that we live in today, success and happiness are often defined by the status of what we achieve, and the value of the things that we own.

Everywhere we look, we are inundated with the same message: the measure of our self-worth is directly equal to the measure of our material wealth.”

And the research is showing a correlation between feeling lonely and the 'crazy busy', overscheduled, overworked lifestyle that leads to work exhaustion. Loneliness has a detrimental impact on our physical body as well. Dr. John Cacioppo, Professor of Neuroscience at the U of Chicago and a leading researcher on loneliness and social isolation has found that loneliness changes the chemistry of our brains and brings tons of negative side effects including increased levels of cortisol, which then impacts our sleep patterns and can cause a host of other problems.

Busy. Overscheduled. Exhausted. Always plugged in.

Thank goodness for yoga. Yoga is counter-culture, at least the deeper layers of the path. It invites us to become aware of our own habitual behaviors and patterns, both the destructive ones and the patterns that are useful and can be refined. This is the practice.

And I think that although this practice is one of self-awareness it invites us to see others in a new way, too. To look at each person as a reflection of the divine. To ignore the story and see the soul as my teacher Seane often says.

It invites us to connect more authentically with others because we are being more truthful with ourselves. About who we are. About what matters to us. About what our body needs to feel nourished. And our body NEEDS human connection. 

So, your call to action this week is to connect. Make a commitment to call your bestie. Call your sibling. Go for a walk. Go for a drink (wine, tea, coffee, kombucha) and keep your phones in the car. Turn off your computer and put your phone to bed after dinner and just be with your people.

And I'd love to connect with you. I set aside time each week for coaching calls. So, if you are feeling like you would like to make some small shifts in your life so that you can feel less overwhelm and exhaustion and find more time for deep connection to the people in your life or to Spirit, let's chat. I'd love to support you in your evolution. You can schedule a call with me here. It's free. I simply want to connect. 


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