Jun 5, 2019

Tell the truth


Tell the truth.

I was inspired to write this when I saw a post on social media by Sarah Bessy, a picture of a sticky note that Rachel Held Evans had above her desk. It said Tell the Truth. That's it. It got me thinking about the importance of telling the truth in all areas of my life, but especially telling the truth about who I am and how I need to nourish myself so that I can be that person unapologethically. 

It comes down to this. I need to be well. I need to be nourished. And I, unlike many others on this planet, have every opportunity available to me to be well and nourished. So how dare I not. Because we have work to do and we are living in a time of upheaval, uncertainty and chaos. This means that getting rooted in my truth is even more important.

Tell the truth.

How are you? How is your health? How are your relationships? 

What are your priorities? What choices are you making each day?

Most of us know what we need to be doing to nourish ourselves; body, mind and soul. But, are we doing it? And if not, why? What excuses and what limiting beliefs are showing up?

Tell the truth.

A couple weeks ago I read Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis and she was clear about her priorities in this order: me, my marriage, my kids, my work. As a mother, my first instinct was to judge. And my second was to exhale. Partly, because I have been really focused on putting myself first over the past two years and I felt validated. Partly, because I want to make me a priority. And I want to do it without shame or guilt. As a woman, a mother and a teacher this is not a conditioned belief. Instead I have been conditioned to put others first. It’s the culture we are all living in.

Then today I read a social media post from a woman I deeply respect...and she’s a therapist. She shared her priorities in this order: Me, my marriage, my kids, everything else.

Hmmmm. Look for the signs...another message I got today as I was listening to a podcast on my morning walk. Look for the signs. Put me first. Mind blown.

Am I really selfish if I take care of myself first? I think that 2 years ago I would have said yes. And based on my initial reaction to Rachel Hollis, this belief still has a hold on me.

Self-care is what I teach. I know how important it is. I believe that we all have work to do in this world and if we are not well we cannot step up to do that work of healing our planet and the soul of this nation and beyond.

Tomorrow I am heading to a 3 day retreat with one of my most influential teachers. I’m not going there to do any work. I’m not going there to learn new business tools. I’m not even going there to network. I’m just going to take care of my soul. Yesterday my husband and I were telling Luisa that I would be gone for a few days and he joked that I was feeling guilty. I don’t. I don’t feel guilty at all. Because I finally believe that I am worth taking care of. Not just because I work really hard or because I deserve a break from mothering. But, because I inherently deserve to be nourished and nurtured and cared for.

Tell the truth.

What excuses do I come up with that are actually lies I'm telling myself?

Oh my goodness there are so many!!!

  • I can't afford it. 
  • I don't have the time.
  • I will have time to start this next week, or next year.
  • My kids need me.
  • I'm just not organized.

The biggest one for me is that I know that I need more sleep. I have been sleep deprived for 4 years. I get between 5-7 hours of sleep a night on average now. Before Luisa turned 2 it was less than that.

Yes, and. Yes, there are real circumstances...and what CAN I do about it?

Everytime I find myself making an excuse about why I can’t take care of myself or do what I know is mandatory for my health and wellbeing I try to go to the yes, and. Validate the circumstances. They are real.

Yes. Luisa goes to bed late. Yes. She still wakes up in the night.

And, I could choose bed over Netflix most nights. And, I could choose to put my phone away or put it in another room.

I validate what is. My real circumstances in this season of life (because it's REAL)...AND I acknowledge what I can change, then I take responsibility for what I can change. This is life changing. This is empowering.

What are your excuses? What are your limiting beliefs?

Then tell the truth. Yes….and.

  • There is FREE yoga all over the internet. FREE workout apps. It's FREE to go for a walk, run or hike.
  • I spend $5 a day on Starbucks or other stimulants. Or I spend $100 going out to dinner or drinks each week, or month. Or $100 on new pants...that I don't really need. 
  • I have the time to scroll through IG/FB and watch a 60 minute show on Netflix...and then another, because binge worthy content is EVERYWHERE.
    • In fact, I just stopped writing this to look up a picture on my phone and got sidetracked scrolling through my IG feed. The struggle is real!
  • Everybody has 2 minutes. Start now.
  • One small step. Start there.
  • Ask for help. Ask for help. Ask for help.
    • Get a sitter.
    • Call a friend.
    • Talk to your partner.

And to be clear. None of this is bad. It's just an indication of what your priorities are. Look at it with compassion. And then tell the truth. Do you really not have the time? Or are you just choosing to do something else with it?

This has changed my life. It is an empowering way to live. Because we can no longer blame everything else if we are really telling the truth.

If you are ready to tell the truth, admit your excuses and quiet those limiting beliefs I'd love to support you with a FREE strategy session. Just a chat. Sometimes saying it out loud is the first step to the change that you need in your life. You've got this. 


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