Sep 16, 2020
The Gifts of Imperfection
This year marks the 10 year anniversary of Brené Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection. I know that she is most well-known for Daring Greatly, but for me this book was more transformational.
Maybe it was because of my attachment to perfectionism and my fear of being vulnerable and fucking up.
In her research she set out to understand what it meant to live a Wholehearted life.
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” (p. 1)
Now, I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like a way of life I would like to lead. And add to it that I also see where in my life I have work to do and consistently commit to that work so that I can disrupt the ways I’ve been indoctrinated into systems that separate and oppress.
Living a Wholehearted life means letting go of the need to do things perfectly, to be right, or to know everything (all symptoms of White Supremacy BTW). To vulnerable enough to do the messy work of untangling oneself from the biases, prejudices and beliefs that are harmful to all of us.
This requires a balance between self-care and collective care. It requires digging deep and it requires sitting back and taking a time out.
There are definitely times in our life when we need to just ‘dig deep’ and push through. Because kids need to be fed, work needs to get done, etc. The world doesn’t just stop when we are bone tired. It’s those times when it feels like there is too much to do and no time for self-care.
One of the things that Brené found in her research (p. 4) was that people who live wholeheartedly do DIG Deep. But, they don’t just push through. They DIG Deep a bit differently. When they are bone tired, overwhelmed and exhausted they get:
- Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or simply setting their intentions
- Inspired to make new and different choices
- Going. They take action.
It’s not the old pattern of pushing through and powering ahead. It’s not about forcing oneself to get started or to be productive. Instead it is an invitation to prayerfully, intentionally and thoughtfully do something restorative.
Consider how can you get deliberate and inspired about your daily choices and habits? What is working right now? What isn't? Stay curious. Stay open.
How can you take action right now?
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Oct 7, 2020
If we learn to not get so lost in anger but rather to mine its energy, we begin to act less out of a desperate need to assume control. We are able to act out of a determined, courageous marshaling of our resources to try to make a difference.” So, feel it. Move it. And channel it into action.
Sep 30, 2020
But, even when our physiology is developed there are life experiences and circumstances that make it more difficult to manage big emotions and the stressors of life. This is trauma. Trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope and respond. And it leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless and out of control. I believe we are living through massive collective trauma right now. Massive.
Sep 23, 2020
Yoga has prepared us for this moment. Yoga on the mat teaches us how to be present with discomfort, to set boundaries, to use discernment. The mat is simply our laboratory. It’s where we get to investigate our edges and build up our resilience toolbox.